The Two-Headed Monster
Her heart skipped a beat as she heard the anguished cry from behind the closed door, followed by a heavy thump as something crashed against it. She threw the door open just as he seized the monstrosity again, slamming it hard against the floor.
"Zane, what in heaven's name are you doing?!"
"Hey, watch your language! And why are you throwing your Halloween costume around the room?"
Zane gazed at the contraption sprawled around his feet, his eyes filled with frustration. "It was all a big, stupid waste of time. Brooklyn can't go to the dance."
"What? Why not?"
"She hurt her leg at practice," he said, and slammed the harness against the floor in frustration again.
"Yeah, right! I'm going to look pretty stupid wearing a two-headed monster costume with only one head."
"Why can't you find someone else to go with you?"
"Why bother? The whole point of making this stupid costume was so that Brooklyn would go to the dance with me."
"It was...I mean, it is...but this costume is as much Brooklyn's as it is mine. I can't wear it without her."
His mom arched an eyebrow. "Are you kidding me? She didn't help at all. The only way I even got her measurements was by asking her mom to e-mail them to me."
"What about your sister? She's petite like Brooklyn."
"Aria? Good luck."
"Why not? You and your sister always used to go out together at Halloween."
"That was when we were kids. It's different now. She's changed."
"No, she hasn't."
"You know she has...she's weird now. She never leaves her room. You're wasting your time even asking her."
"Well, I'm going to go talk to her and see if I can convince her to go with you."
Zane rolled his eyes. "Why bother? I don't even want to go with her. I don't want to go at all now."
He lowered his eyes to the tangled mess sprawled across the floor in front of him, and nodded his head in reluctant agreement.
* * *
Aria was sitting on her bed in her underwear, towel-drying her hair when the door opened. She yanked the blanket up, hurrying to cover her legs.
"Oh my god," she said, "can't you knock first?!"
Aria flushed with embarrassment as she pulled the blanket even higher, hiding the lacy bra that matched the tiny pink panties she was wearing.
"I don't know why you even bought me these. I told you I needed ones to wear around the house, not to a Victoria's Secret fashion show."
Aria shook her head no, and leaned down to grab her hair dryer.
"Wait a second, honey, please...before you turn that on, there's something I want to ask you."
"What?" Aria said, as she circled her thumb against the on switch.
Her mother took a deep breath. "Can you please go with your brother to the Halloween dance tonight?"
"Aria. Aria!" her mother yelled, trying to be heard over the noise.
She rolled her eyes and glanced up as she flicked the switch off, her thumb still firmly pressed against it. "What?"
"Your brother needs you to go with him, it's really important."
"And what am I supposed to go as, the fucking Hunchback of Notre Dame?! You know I can't dance anymore."
"So I'm stuck being his date? Why can't he just go alone like he always does?"
"It's not like that. It's a two-person costume. No one's even going to recognize you when you're inside it."
"What do you mean, like a fake horse or something? I don't want his ass in my face all night."
"Honey, please just come downstairs and see it."
Aria circled her finger on the switch and then shook her head, her decision made. "I'm not going."
"Honey, please -- "
"Look, I don't know why you never let me talk to you anymore, but this time you're going to listen. First prize tonight is a five thousand dollar donation to a charity of the winner's choice. Your brother worked his ass off on that costume because he really wants to win it for the animal shelter, and he can't do that without your help.
"I can't force you to go to the dance with him, but if you think it's more important to keep sitting in your room and feeling sorry for yourself then your brother's right...you have changed."
She bent over and plugged the cord back in, and the hair dryer startled Aria as it leapt back to life in her hand. And she watched, her wet hair matted to her face, as her mother left the room without another word and shut the door behind her.
* * *
"Oh, man...it's alive," he said.
Aria ignored his comment and offered her standard greeting instead. "Hey, loser."
"Hey, spaz," he replied with a smile.
As she neared the bottom of the stairs her mother, waiting there in case she needed help, moved out of her way.
https://www.reddit.com/r/antiMLM/comments/j61kyr/this_has_to_be_an_mlm_right_befactor/"Right here," Zane said, and bent to pick up the tangled heap of straps and fastenings.
"What the hell is that?"
"It's a two-headed monster costume. I designed it myself."
"Yeah, I can tell. It looks like shit."
"Aria!" her mother said.
"Sorry...how does it work?"
"It's actually not that complicated," Zane said. "I made it from some of the broken tumbling and spotting harnesses at the gym. Here, let me show you."
He came up behind her and placed the rig over her shoulders, letting the jumble of belts hang down to the floor.
"Well, it'd be quieter, that's for sure," he answered, as he circled her and tightened the straps around her thighs, waist and torso.
He pulled her cane away and she lunged toward the edge of the table for support.
"It's okay! I've got you." He caught her around her waist, pulling her back against him in a gentle bear hug as he effortlessly lifted her off her feet.
Aria's eyes bugged out in surprise. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"Making sure you're the same height as me. We'd be a pretty funny looking two-headed monster with your head coming out of my armpit."
She swallowed nervously. "You can put me down if I'm too heavy."
"Are you kidding me? I toss girls the same size as you all day long at practice. Mom, can you do us up?"
She hurried behind him, connecting belts and tightening straps. As she did, Aria glanced toward the mirror.
"Oh my god, I look like a giant baby!"
"You are a giant baby," her brother replied.
"It's like an adult-sized baby harness," she said, as she stared at the straps crisscrossing her body.
"Exactly," Zane said, and let her go.
Their mom stepped in front and inspected the costume. "How does it feel? Is she too heavy?"
"Not at all," Zane said, shifting to adjust the straps around his shoulders. "The harness distributes her weight perfectly."
"Well, it doesn't feel perfect to me," Aria said, as she squirmed back and forth, trying to get comfortable. "It doesn't fit right."
"That's because you're wearing these stupid sweatpants. You'll have to wear something different when we go to the dance."
Aria shook her head. "No, I'm wearing these."
Her mom stepped forward and pulled at the heavy fabric. "They're too baggy. Why don't you wear a pair of your gymnastics shorts?"
"I can't...I got rid of them."
"What? When?"
"A while ago, I didn't need them anymore so I donated them."
"Well, we can find you another pair."
"No! I'm not wearing shorts. I'm wearing these."
Her mom shook her head. "Nonsense, just let me call -- "
"Calm down, spaz," Zane said, pinning her against him as she struggled. "You can wear whatever you want."
After she finally settled down, their mom helped them complete the costume. There was a giant shirt stretched over a fitted frame, oversized pants that hid the fact there were actually two pairs of legs strapped together inside them and, of course, makeup.
When they stood in front of the mirror again, Aria was amazed at the finished result. The costume really did make them look like a two-headed version of Frankenstein's monster with her head, as she leaned to one side inside the outfit, sticking out beside her brother's. They appeared to be one giant, barrel-chested creature. If it wasn't for her head sticking out, she thought, you wouldn't even be able to tell her body was strapped inside there against her brother's. With the green makeup her mom had skillfully applied, the two of them had indeed been transformed into one -- a two-headed monster, that is.
"Hey, stop that!" he said, laughing as he tried to twist his face away from her.
"Look, Mom, the two-headed monster is picking his nose."
"Pick your own nose," he said, and pinched her side, tickling her inside the costume as she shrieked, squirming helplessly under his powerful fingers.
"That's enough," their mom said with a smile, as Zane finally relented and Aria slumped forward, gasping for air from laughing so hard. "It's time to get you two to the dance."
* * *
"My two little monsters," she said proudly. "Do you want me to come back at ten when the contest is over, or did you want to stay later?"
"Hell, no!" Aria said before her brother could answer. "Be outside ten minutes early with the car running. As soon as this contest is over, we're out of here."
"Fine. Have fun and stay close to your brother."
"Ha ha," Aria said. "Real funny."
When they'd finally climbed out of the van, both of them waved goodbye as their mom drove away, their arms comically out of sync.
They went inside, registered for the contest, and then headed into the throng of partygoers. Many of them were kids from Zane's college, and the ones that recognized him nodded in his direction.
As they moved through the crowd, the first thing they noticed was how hot it was; the body heat thrown off from the dancing mob of costumed revelers had definitely kicked the temperature up a notch. But the second thing they noticed was the abundance of sexy costumes; scantily-clad witches, cowgirls and kitty-cats, just to name a few. They were one of a select few who'd actually dressed as a monster.
Zane looked around uncomfortably, and mumbled, "This was a bad idea."
"No, I mean it...this sucks."
Aria couldn't help noticing how everyone kept whispering and pointing at them, and she'd been tempted to hide her head inside the costume as soon as they'd come through the door. But she wasn't sure what had changed her brother's mind. "Why, what's wrong? Am I too heavy?"
Zane sighed. "No, it's just...I told everyone I was coming here with Brooklyn. And now they're going to find out I brought my little sister to the dance instead."
"Yeah, believe me; I'm not too happy about it either."
"I'm actually surprised you even agreed to come."
"Dr. Frankenstein's assistant didn't leave me much choice."
"Yeah, Mom didn't leave me much choice, either."
"Great, now that it's unanimous that neither of us wants to be here, let's get a drink. It's too fucking hot in here."
Zane looked at her in surprise. "A drink? You mean booze?"
"No, I was hoping you'd stick my head in the water fountain...of course I mean booze! There's a bar over there."
"I'm eighteen, you idiot. My birthday was last week."
"Oh, yeah. How come you didn't have a party?"
"Because I didn't want a stupid party, but I do want a drink. Carry me over there, that guy isn't ID'ing anyone."
As they neared the bar, Zane whispered, "This is a really bad idea."
"Don't blow this," she hissed.
The bartender looked up at the two of them. "Evening, what can I get you?"
Zane swallowed nervously, his eyes darting back and forth across the bottles behind him. "Umm...a Harvey Wallbanger?"
The bartender's eyes narrowed and he looked between the two of them as Aria forced out the friendliest smile she could muster.
"I'll need to see her ID."
The smile faded from Aria's face. "Look at this costume; does it look like I have anywhere to put fucking ID?"
Zane's jaw dropped as his eyes went wide with embarrassment, but before he could stop her she continued her tirade.
"Half the people here are under age, and you decide to ID us? We're thirty-seven years old you fucking idiot!"
Zane clapped his hand over his sister's mouth, apologizing and hurrying away as she screamed obscenities into his palm and tried to twist around in the harness, giving the bartender the finger.
Once they were far enough away, Zane removed his hand and said, "What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you do that?!"
"What's wrong with me?! Who the hell orders a Harvey Wallbanger? Why didn't you just tell him we wanted two beers?!"
"I don't know...I guess I thought it'd make me sound older."
"Yeah, like seventy-fucking-years-old!"
"Well what about you, why did you tell him we were thirty-seven?"
"Because it's our combined age, you idiot!"
"Oh...well, whatever. If you'd just kept quiet I probably could have got us something."
"If you wanted quiet, you should have got a fake head. Walk us around the room," she said, twisting left and right to look around. "Maybe I can swipe someone's drink while they're dancing."
"I can't walk when you keep squirming," he said. "You're going to make me lose my balance."
"I can't help it; this stupid harness doesn't fit right. It's too tight and it's way too fucking hot inside this thing."
"That's because you insisted on wearing those stupid sweatpants and sweatshirt. If you'd just dress like a normal girl -- "
"Holy shit, Zaner?" a voice said from behind him. "Is that you, bro? That costume looks fucking awesome!"
They turned around and saw a guy dressed up as Hugh Hefner with a blonde girlfriend dressed up as a playboy bunny. Aria couldn't help noticing how the skimpy outfit pushed up her big tits, making them seem even bigger, and she was sure her brother hadn't either. As both of them smiled at her, she had a sudden urge to duck her head inside the costume like a gopher.
"Oh, hey Matt," Zane said, "great interception yesterday. It saved the game for us."
"Thanks man." He nodded at the blonde beside him. "This is Stacy...she's a fan."
She flashed her eyes at him. "Hi, are you on the football team, too?"
Before Zane could say a word, Matt answered for him. "Naw, Zaner isn't on the team. He's just a cheerleader."
"Oh," she said, disappointment tingeing her voice. "I thought only girls were cheerleaders?"
Zane went to respond, but Matt cut him off again. "So, who's this?"
Zane swallowed nervously. "Oh, this is...umm...this is my sister, Aria."
"No way, you came with your sister?"
"Well, Brooklyn was supposed to come with me but she had a bad accident and hurt her leg. So I -- "
"Wait a second," Matt said, "what accident? I just saw Brooklyn, she looked fine."
"Brooklyn's here?"
"Yeah, I just saw her a few minutes ago. Anyways, good luck in the costume contest. Later."
As they walked away, Stacy whispered something in Matt's ear and then glanced back with a smirk on her face. Aria's face would have turned red with embarrassment if it hadn't already been painted green. "Why the fuck did you tell him I was your sister?!"
Zane ignored her, craning his neck left and right, surveying the crowd as he pushed his way through it.
"Where the hell are we going now?!" Aria said.
But he kept ignoring her, weaving his way through a crowd of college kids doing the Monster Mash as he made his way back toward the bar. Aria noticed an unguarded drink on a nearby table and was stretching for it when her brother made a hard left, taking it just out of her reach. She was about to tell him to turn around and go back when he suddenly stopped.
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